Krystall

girlxwithxpen @ 2005-04-04T02:09:00

2005-04-04T06:10:17Z

I have a new journal. agent_azulskies

Comment there if you want me to add you.

girlxwithxpen @ 2005-03-31T22:21:00

2005-04-01T03:22:49Z

In my bio lab tonight, we had a pair of real live incredibly healthy lungs.

Then we saw a pair of smoker's lungs.

I really have to stop smoking.

girlxwithxpen @ 2005-03-29T16:01:00

2005-03-29T21:05:43Z

I decided to do a Friends Cut. So comment if you want to stay.

Someone else's LJ got me thinking. It's funny how we all claim that we've changed from high school (some for good, some for worse). But no one is willing to see these changes if they're good. People are quick to judge you for mistakes you've made in the past, despite all of your good qualities. They don't want to accept that you may just be a good person. But as soon as you fuck something up now, they are quick to judge you again.

My whole point is we are all the same. I think that it's human to try to find all of the worst qualities of other people to feel good about yourself. But, when you look at things as a whole, we are all the same, striving for the same things. Happiness, love, truth.

I guess people will always find some reason to not like you.

I watched the Devil's Advocate for the first time last night. Whoa. Crazy and intense! I thought Al Pacino was wonderful as the devil. What I got from the movie is that there is always a constant battle between good and evil. Anyway, I don't want to give much away in case no one's seen it. But man. Good stuff. And I can't believe I just now picked up on the John Milton parallel to his Paradise Lost. Wow.

The only thing I would complain about was Keanu's questionable southern accent. That thing really came and went. But I think that it was one of the best movie performances I've ever seen from him.

Okay, I'm gonna go take a shower.

girlxwithxpen @ 2005-03-28T10:10:00

2005-03-28T15:16:24Z

I saw this bumper sticker walking back from class and it made me smile.

Okay, I just saw a little piece of paper trapped in between the "b" and "v" keys and I just spent 2 minutes trying to pry it out. Before I knew it, there were rows and rows of b's and v's on my screen.

I hope everyone's weekend was fabulous. Mine was.

I love to wear his t-shirt to bed.
I'm in love.

I promise to catch up to your journals later on. I'm gonna go take a short nap. Take care. And go play in the rain!

girlxwithxpen @ 2005-03-24T14:59:00

2005-03-24T20:15:32Z

I just found out that "Morty Seinfeld" died on Monday. That makes me sad. I hope they lay with him a pen that writes upside down.

I finished about 8 pages in the art journal last night. My bed was a mess. I had everything in their own "neat" little piles. I'm excited about it. I have so many ideas but when you're actually sitting there with it, things never turn out the way you want them to. Sometimes that's good. Sometimes that's bad.

It is incredibly disturbing to me that politicians have turned the Terry Schiavo case into a political football game. That's all I'm gonna say about that.

1. Take your LJ username and replace each letter with the corresponding number (A=1, B=2, etc...).

g i r l x w i t h x p e n

7 9 18 12 23 9 8 23 16 5 14

2. Add all of the numbers together to create a kind of super number.

94

3. Add the digits of the number together.

13

4. Find the post of this number in your LJ. If you don't have that many posts, add the digits together again.

September 22, 2004

5. Take the digit you noted in step 3, and count that many words into the post.

"things"

6. Use the resulting word in a Google image search, and select a picture from the first page and post the results.

Hope your day is wonderful. I'm gonna go call Nick and make sure he's feeling a little better today (he has the flu). I hate that I'm stuck here.

girlxwithxpen @ 2005-03-22T14:51:00

2005-03-22T19:56:11Z

Here is all the prose I've ever written. I'm making an art journal for my mister and pretty much all of it is going in it. And yeah, it's a lot for you casual readers. It's not enough in my eyes.

Poetry seems so false to me now. It’s safe to hide behind metaphors because no one wants to write what they’re thinking. But I think it’s easier to write without thinking. The words are your true voice. Phones have nothing on our voice.

But my phone does sit too silent sometimes.

Do people wonder as much as I wonder? I see an old couple eating at a restaurant, one looking out the window, and the other pretending her nails have some delightful amusement hidden underneath. Are they happy? Why can’t they capture the words that float around them? I don’t think they want to capture them. But I know there was a time that she could have been anywhere, and inhaled, and he would have heard it. He would have smelled her and tasted her. There was once a moment.

It’s so easy to become bitter. Life is surely ironic. It’s those people that try so hard to be good in their lives that are handed shit. Does it make us stronger? I don’t really know.

I love seeing new lovers. Their hands are clasped together and that’s the only reason you’d know they knew each other because their bodies are so far apart. But still. There’s that aroma of fresh roses and late night phone calls. Eventually the roses wilt, and the phone calls stop. But it’s okay to enjoy the moment.

I feel pain a lot. It’s hard to describe how I can be so happy in one minute and feel like my insides are being sucked out the next. But it’s a hurt that’s undeniable. It can be so overwhelming that sometimes I think it’s beautiful to hurt. I know that’s something only a few can understand.

Not you though.

Today I’m sitting wearing a skirt and a tank top, pretending it’s spring. The fan is blowing my hair in my face while I pretend the wind would actually accept me. The transformation from winter to spring is miraculous. I’ve never heard of anyone sitting outside, enjoying the cold weather. Yet so many claim to love it. In the winter, everyone hides in their cold apartments, with their legs crossed eating out of take-out foam boxes watching their insecurities on the television screen. In only the spring, not the summer because it would be too hot, you see floods of people laying in the bright grass, maybe under an oak tree, highlighting passages out of books while their lover lays on their lap listening to hours of amazing music while imagining what their world will be like, what the girl with the red book bag dreams of. It’s nice to wonder.

In my head there lies a world full of umbrellas and you. We take these umbrellas and spin them around with such childhood fervor until they make more colors than one could ever dream of. We use them to spin across the ocean until we landed wherever we happened to land and that would be okay. The ocean knows nothing of insecurities so that makes us feel safe. You see, in my world we would be one body with two umbrellas, constantly circling creating more and more colors. At night, we could lay in one sleeping bag, pretending we know constellations, because that would be romantic.

He could make pain beautiful. He is broken. That’s what caught my eye. The grass is greener on my side of the fence because I jumped over and found this person, when the sun was setting right above his head, so that his hair would shimmer, but only in certain parts, which impressed me more. And he had yet to know my name. I am broken. He could melt me with words but he loved picking up the pieces because we owed each other that. In the morning, he wears the sky, and breaks off a cloud, just for me. Everyone glances. I am radiance. At night the moon likes to squeeze between the blinds and pull the sheets off of us to remind us that love can be pure.

I was lying in bed and the clock was radiating five twenty six. My eyes always search above me, as if you'd appear. There’s always an unspoken hope in the late night hours. The TV and ceiling like to share colors, as if they’re dancing, and I like to watch the white replace the black. I remembered the times you'd tuck me inside your arms and our heartbeats would race to see whose would beat faster. You were always beautiful to me. And I miss you.

I like to hear the rain sometimes. Especially at night. I’d sit upon a porch swing, with my knees placed firmly against my chest, and my hair slightly moving east in accordance to the breeze and I’d watch as the rain drops fall, dribble across the ground, and fall gracefully into any crevice caring enough to take it in, despite all the dirt it managed to track in with it. If only people would be so accepting.

girlxwithxpen @ 2005-03-21T13:44:00

2005-03-21T19:07:46Z

My spring break was wonderful/fabulous/amazing. I'm so sad it's over. I thank the guys so much for letting me stay with them. It was great.

But now it's back to school again. I'm skipping my class at 2. It's such a waste of my time and I'd rather study for my 2 exams on Wednesday or at least finish my paper.

This is the picture on my desktop :D

He looks so goofy with his poofy hair :D and I just look awful.

Have a great day you guys.

girlxwithxpen @ 2005-03-18T11:31:00

2005-03-18T16:34:06Z

Yesterday was St. Patricks Day.

Me, Nick, Justin, Alex downloaded and danced to corny Ricky Martin/Michael Jackson/etc. songs and played hide and go seek in a dark house.

We're awesome.

Sorry I have to transcend to the age of 10 but this made me giggle...
look at the teacher's name

girlxwithxpen @ 2005-03-17T02:37:00

2005-03-17T07:43:57Z

I had a blast tonight.

But I was going to write about going to Justin's church tonight. I thought it was really cool. The place was definitely not some typical church-it seriously felt like you were walking into a rock concert. But what I guess I realized was that even if I don't agree with these people's beliefs, it was really cool to see people happy. The fact that their belief brings them happiness and structure is a respectable thing and for that I don't think that people should say "I hate religion" as I may have previously said. Because I always looked at religion as a whole instead of what that spirituality brought to them as an individual.

Everyone is in search of some truth because it's the human condition. I use reason in finding this truth while others use faith. I still stick with that no one knows anything.

I also realized tonight that I could probably never believe in what they believe because it feels so false in my heart. But to see all of these people happy and whatnot was pretty cool.

Alright, I suppose I'll go lay down. I'm not tired at all though.

girlxwithxpen @ 2005-03-11T08:33:00

2005-03-11T13:38:02Z

So, yeah, my spring break starts at 1 pm today after my classes. Looks like. .
-I'm gonna be sick
-I'm gonna be on my period
-I have 2 exams to study for and a paper to write
-And even worse than all of that: it's not even bright and sunny and hot lol.

-But hey, you gotta make it fun!

I may or may not be on next week so if not, I hope next week is great for you guys. Now I gotta be off to class.

girlxwithxpen @ 2005-03-10T16:08:00

2005-03-10T21:17:23Z

I don't understand how it's okay to make excuses when a friend of yours does something wrong and selfish but if it were you in that situation [like this summer *ahem*], or even someone else, then it'd be wrong. The only reason I'm writing about this up here is, not because I'm surprised, but because I really just hate this situation in general. People don't take relationships seriously anymore.

A true friend calls you out on your bullshit, yes?

And just for the record, how s.e.x.y is this?

Edit: I found this on someone's site...thought it was funny :D

girlxwithxpen @ 2005-03-09T13:15:00

2005-03-09T18:17:24Z

It's the little things in life that make me happy.

The smell of freshly cut grass
Blankets right out of the dryer
Laughing until it hurts
Hearing my favorite song at just the right moment
Great conversation
The sound of the ocean
Warm wind in my face
Bright sunny days
Flipflops
Lip rings
Receiving thank you's
Compliments
Scottish accents
Learning something new
Letters in the mail
Falling asleep with someone
Staying up all night talking
Jumping on the bed
Finally getting the guts to jump in a cold pool
Campfires
Ice cold water when I'm thirsty
Hot showers
Driving with the windows down
Waiting for a song to be over before getting out of the car
The adrenaline you get at concerts
Eating batter right out of the bowl
Rain on my face
Making someone smile/laugh
The smell of a candle when it's blown out
Porch swings
Being barefoot
Waking up and realizing I still have a few hours left to sleep
When someone plays with my hair

What makes you happy?

girlxwithxpen @ 2005-03-09T01:09:00

2005-03-09T06:20:00Z

I am etched barely fantastic.
And so he kissed me barely at all.

girlxwithxpen @ 2005-03-08T14:50:00

2005-03-08T19:52:33Z

I made the last entry Friends Only because really, no one in my life is going to care. I just want to say thank you for all of your wise words. You guys are simply wonderful.

Thank you.

I want you guys to know that I'm not unhappy. I'm a pretty happy person. Sometimes we get confused and frustrated. Well, I think you guys put it perfectly.

<3

girlxwithxpen @ 2005-03-04T08:35:00

2005-03-04T13:39:26Z

Ok, there is more going on in this world than Michael Jackson and Martha Stewart. I've really started getting annoyed with how obsessed people are with celebrites. Yes, I like the gossip because it can be fun sometimes. But dear God they're just people. I'm sick of watching the NEWS and all they talk about is Jackson and Stewart.

Geez.

Okay, I stole this from _bijou
I filled in my answers and then in the comments you fill in yours :D

1. Tell me something obvious about you. I have a vagina.
2. Tell me something about you that many don't know. I had asthma attacks when I was little.
3. What is your biggest fear? Failure.
4. Do you normally go the safe route or take the short cut?Shortcuts!
5. Name one thing you want that you can't buy with ...money. Love baby.
6. What is your most treasured possession? I really can't think of any material possesion that I find treasured. I guess pictures.
7. What is the one thing you hate most about yourself that you do often? Overanalyzation.
8. Tell me something sexually about you that I don't know. I love giving oral sex.
9. Tell me something sexually about you that everyone knows. I have a vagina!
10. What is your favorite lie to tell? "I swear! Nothing's wrong" :D lol, guys love that huh?
11. Name something you've done once that you can't wait to do again. Go white water rafting/tubing.
12. Are you the jealous type? Everyone is to a certain extent but I'm not psycho jealous. I'm jealous when I feel that there's a threat. That applies to anything, not just relationships.
13. What is the one person, place or thing you can't say no to? Mongolian food. And of course, Nick :D
14. What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you? Give birth to me. haha.
15. If you could do something crazy right now, what would it
be? Go outside and screeeeam at the top of my lungs.
16. When was the last time you cried? Two days ago but out of laughter; Isn't that the best?
17. When was the last time you felt so good that nothing else mattered? Well, that's been a while. I really can't remember. With so much to do its hard to be like 'Oh well'
18. Do you feel comfortable in public with no ...shirt on? Should I?:D I think if people walked around naked all the time it would take the specialty(??) out of nakedness :)
19. Name something embarrassing you did while being drunk. Um, fingering a girl in front of people. Not because it was a girl, but I just don't like to show THAT much intimacy in front of others.
20. If you post this in your journal would you like me to answer
it?

girlxwithxpen @ 2005-03-03T21:35:00

2005-03-04T02:37:54Z

I swear to God I just heard the guy on the preview for "Miss Congeniality 2" say Sandra Buttock. I swear it.

On the last entry I put lines through the movies you guys got :D

let's play a game

2005-03-02T19:36:54Z

Edit:
1. It was that night I discovered that most things you consider evil or wicked are simply lonely, and lacking in the social niceties.

~~2. You know what the real tragedy of this day is? I'm not even supposed to be here today!~~ Clerks

3. Sand is overrated. It's just tiny, little rocks.

~~4. Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond.~~ Ferris Bueller's Day Off

~~5. I flipped through catalogs and wondered: "What kind of dining set defines me as a person?" [i could take so many from this movie]~~ Fight Club

~~6. If I were a woman, I'd be a slut. A lesbian slut.~~ The Good Girl

7. That morning I was not yet a vampire, and I saw my last sunrise. I remember it completely, and yet I can't recall any sunrise before it. I watched its whole magnificence for the last time as if it were the first. And then I said farewell to sun light, and set out to become what I became.

~~8. Hiya kids. Here is an important message from your Uncle Bill. Don't buy drugs. Become a pop star, and they give you them for free.~~ Love Actually

~~9. If real is what you can feel, smell, taste and see, then 'real' is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain~~ The Matrix

~~10. I will be watching you and if I find that you are trying to corrupt my first born child, I will bring you down, baby. I will bring you down to Chinatown.~~ Meet the Parents

11. Memory can change the shape of a room; it can change the color of a car. And memories can be distorted. They're just an interpretation, they're not a record, and they're irrelevant if you have the facts.

~~12. Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday.~~ The Princess Bride

13. It's supposed to be a challenge, it's a shortcut! If it were easy it would just be the way.

~~14. You know, if my dog were as ugly as you, I'd shave his butt and tell him to walk backwards.~~ The Sandlot

15. What kind of a sick bitch takes the ice cube trays out of the freezer?

~~16. Are you stalking me? Because that would be super.~~ Sandlot

17. Person1: Looks don't interest me.
Person2: That's easy for you to say, you've never been ugly.

18. Person1: Fucking... What the fuck. Who the fuck fucked this fucking... How did you two fucking fucks... FUCK.
Person2 : Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word. Boondock Saints

The lives of pretty people are significantly different than the lives of average looking people. Think about it.

Wow everyday one of my roomies puts on perfume and it reaches all the way to my room and its so strong even over here. Smells nice but way strong.

Alright, I'm gonna go be productive.

girlxwithxpen @ 2005-03-01T17:58:00

2005-03-01T22:59:25Z

You know something that I've learned? There are only a few people that are ever going to really know you. There are people that are going to judge you and say things about you without ever really knowing who you are-what's inside you, what makes you happy, what even matters to you. These are the people that don't matter.

I mean, doesn't that make complete logical sense? They don't like you but they don't know you. So it shouldn't matter to you.

I think I've completely mastered that thought. I wish people could do the same. People I'm close to let people bother them and they shouldn't. Because they are loved for who they are-for everything they are.

I think people are generally good. There are those few that like to be manipulative and push people's buttons and the like. But for the most part, everyone is allowed to be stupid every once in a while! People judge you automatically for things that you have done very few times in your life, if not once and act as if that is the person you must be. Everyone makes mistakes. We're human. You can't judge a person for that. You have to at least give that person a chance to change/learn. That's what I've learned.

It's hard to admit things about yourself that you don't like. That's hard. It's even harder to change that about yourself. And I appreciate and have so much love for the people in my life that don't abandon me when I make mistakes. That love me for who I am, the good with the bad. Because there is not one human being on this green green earth that is perfect.

So instead of fixating on what's wrong with everyone else, we need to start looking at how we can change ourselves for the good of society. Not going into detail on why this person and this person suck and are horrible horrible people to feel better about ourselves. That gets us nowhere.

My whole point of this entry is to say that if you know that you are in general a good person, that's all you need to know.

Take care, lovelies.

girlxwithxpen @ 2005-02-28T08:25:00

2005-02-28T13:27:53Z

My weekend was great. I hate when my weekend ends and I have to come back here. Coming back was definitely an adventure for me and Wailon but we finally made it in time to surprise Jen at her birthday party.

Saturday Nick took me to the zoo

these guys all looked at me at the same time. . .it was quite scary but they were too cute

i love the confused look on his face :P

my baby is too cute

Me and Nick worked everything out and so everything's good. I love this kid more than I could ever explain. Yes we're different and yes we argue but in the end, it always brings us closer.

I'm so lucky.

I'd be even luckier if we had a snow day and I could take my ass right back to sleep. I'm so tired!

This guy just really really rocks my socks :P

Everyone have a good one.

girlxwithxpen @ 2005-02-23T10:23:00

2005-02-23T15:29:08Z

Wow, people on Facebook are really classic. The majority of people's pictures are a picture of them doing shots and the list goes on. I know I want people to remember me as an alcoholic! Fo sho.

My day was pretty fun and entertaining yesterday. Here's to hoping today will be the same :D I have a bio exam so wish me luck!

I'm pretty tired. I stayed up late yesterday but that's not too strange for a flaming insomniac. I have no idea why I put flaming in front of that word but it made me giggle. Thoughts have a way of consuming your mind so rapidly that they don't even feel like your own sometimes.

I need to get my hands on some sleeping pills.

If you read this and have time, do this for me:
Ask me 4 questions.
Any 4, no matter how personal, private, or random.
I have to answer them honestly.
I have to answer them all.
In turn, you post this message in your own journal,
and you have to answer the questions that are asked to you.

Hope your day is marvelous.

thank you

2005-02-22T18:22:38Z

Edit:My, my, my. This just gets better and better. How can someone not know what someone looks like and mistake someone for them if they're friends with them? Huh? Because you liiiiie. Man, I wonder if anything else will surface because this just gets more and more amusing. The song I have above "Es Mentiriso" means you're a liar. That wasn't even on purpose but man doesn't that just suit the day :) Catching people in more and more lies is funny.

Haha.

I got an email from someone so important to me today. That kid. . .i love him. Our friendship will never be able to reach to its fullest potential because of a lot of extra baggage, I suppose. If it does, then that'd be great. His email, like always, has just completely lifted my spirits. I'm so lucky to have him.

I know this is a day late but here are

1. In warm weather, 6th president of the United States John Quincy Adams customarily went skinny-dipping in the Potomac River before dawn.

2. 9th U.S. president William Henry Harrison was inaugurated on a bitterly cold day and gave the longest inauguration speech ever. The new president promptly caught a cold that soon developed into pneumonia. Harrison died exactly one month into his presidential term, the shortest in U.S. history.

3. John Tyler, 10th U.S. president, fathered 15 children (more than any other president)--8 by his first wife, and 7 by his second wife. Tyler was past his seventieth birthday when his 15th child was born.

4. Sedated only by brandy, 11th president of the United States James Polk survived gall bladder surgery at the age of 17.

5. 15th U.S. president James Buchanan is the only unmarried man ever to be elected president. Buchanan was engaged to be married once; however, his fiancée died suddenly after breaking off the engagement, and he remained a bachelor all his life.

6. Often depicted wearing a tall black stovepipe hat, 16th president of the United States Abraham Lincoln carried letters, bills, and notes in his hat.

7. 17th U.S. president Andrew Johnson never attended school. His future wife, Eliza McCardle, taught him to write at the age of 17. (Bonus fact about Andrew Johnson: He only wore suits that he custom-tailored himself.)

8. Ulysses S. Grant, 18th president of the United States, died of throat cancer. During his life, Grant had smoked about 20 cigars per day.

9. Both ambidextrous and multilingual, 20th president of the United States James Garfield could write Greek with one hand while writing Latin with the other.

10. Grover Cleveland, 22nd and 24th president of the United States, underwent a secret operation aboard a yacht to remove his cancerous upper jaw in 1893.

11. The teddy bear derived from 26th U.S. president Theodore ("Teddy") Roosevelt's refusal to shoot a bear with her cub while on a hunting trip in Mississippi.

12. William Taft, 27th president of the United States, weighed more than 300 pounds and had a special oversized bathtub installed in the White House.

13. Warren Harding, 29th U.S. president, played poker at least twice a week, and once gambled away an entire set of White House china. His advisors were nicknamed the "Poker Cabinet" because they joined the president in his poker games.

14. Calvin Coolidge, 30th president of the United States, had chronic stomach pain and required 10 to 11 hours of sleep and an afternoon nap every day.

15. Herbert Hoover, 31st U.S. president, published more than 16 books, including one called Fishing for Fun-And to Wash Your Soul.

16. 32nd president of the United States Franklin D. Roosevelt was related, either by blood or by marriage, to 11 former presidents.

17. The letter "S" comprises the full middle name of the 33rd president, Harry S. Truman. It represents two of his grandfathers, whose names both had "S" in them.

18. Military leader and 34th president of the U.S. Dwight D. Eisenhower loved to cook; he developed a recipe for vegetable soup that is 894 words long and includes the stems of nasturtium flowers as one of the ingredients.

19. 40th president of the United States Ronald Reagan broke the so-called "20-year curse," in which every president elected in a year ending in 0 died in office.

20. George W. Bush, 43rd president of the United States, and his wife Laura got married just three months after meeting each other.

And now I gotta take a shower so I can go meet up with Wailon. Have a wonderful day everyone and be safe :D

P.S. My lip looks plenty better!

girlxwithxpen @ 2005-02-17T13:50:00

2005-02-17T18:53:38Z

I need a job.

My blister is all scabbing...it's my lip's "healing process"

I may not go to Norfolk this weekend.

Sorry if I'm an inconvenience.

The End

girlxwithxpen @ 2005-02-15T12:01:00

2005-02-15T20:05:49Z

So, last night I couldn't sleep. And neither could my bestest. So, around 5 am we went out to the James River to take pictures of the sunrise (my very first sunrise). We didn't get back til around almost 8 am and that was because I had to pee so bad! Haha. Anyway, I was overall disappointed with my pics but it was still fun :D

Okay, I have the most annoying blister/swollen lip thing in the world. I think it has to do with stress because I have never gotten anything close to this before. It's such a pain in my ass.

I guess I should go study or do something productive. Hope your day is wonderful!

girlxwithxpen @ 2005-02-14T07:00:00

2005-02-14T15:08:23Z

My weekend was wonderful. AND my baby took me out to a Mongolian BBQ restaurant that was awesome. :] Ah, I love food.

So today's valentine's day. Which is lame. It makes single people feel lonely and they get cranky. Happiness is your responsiblity. Don't depend on others for it. And for people in a relationship, you should do nice things for each other anyway. I think it's more special when it's out of the blue rather when you're expecting it.

And Happy Birthday to Justin!

I can't use my Boondock Saints icon anymore b/c of that LJ Friends Collage people keep doing. . .so now i think it has been exceeding its bandwith or something.

girlxwithxpen @ 2005-02-10T17:41:00

2005-02-10T22:42:41Z

I wish people could see past color and sexual orientation.

I wish people would stop confusing faith with knowledge.